Having Millennial Age Children

Iloveus

Well, it has happened.  The precious smiling faces of my children above have finally made me feel old and ready to be kicked to the curb.  Now I know you may be thinking “What?” and maybe I am exaggerating some – but some days I don’t think I am.  Recently, I had the “pleasure” (said sarcastically) of having the flu.  Both of my children were too busy with their own lives to even stop by to bring soup or anything else.  My son, who has turned into a workaholic, didn’t even call.  My daughter, who is almost as bad about her job, called and asked once how was I feeling and all other calls were about her job.

My first thoughts were “What has happened to my sweet precious children?” They have never made me feel like this before.  Now, I am not even a priority on their to do list of check on Ma Ma.  I have always been a good mother.  When I die, they will put on my headstone – She was a good mother.  I have always loved them unconditionally and done everything I could to help them be successful in life – to get off on the right foot – from sending them to college, setting up their first apartment – buying all the furniture (most of the time), giving them money, buying their first car, being at their beck and call – to now this…..dead silence…..

As I am devastated and grieving over my move down their totem pole, I began to cry on the shoulders of my girl friends.  You know, we mothers have to talk about our children.  What I discovered is they also are experiencing the same type of treatment from their 30ish age children.  One friend even said the M- word.   Millennials!!!  She said, Cynthia, we are dealing with the millennial generation where they are all about themselves and to hell with anyone else.”  I really did not want to believe it – not my children!  I looked back to when they were born – middle to late 1980s.  Yes, the age does classify them as a millennial.  Looking at their behavior – yes, their behavior is the behavior of the publicly publicized behavior of the mind of a millennial (all about me).  I guess it is true.  They have hit the stage in their life where they are adults and don’t need me around – sort of like them being in their terrible 2s but in reverse.

When I tried to discuss this with my daughter, thinking talking to a girl would be easier because she would understand me, wrong – she said “Mom, you are just getting older and are more sensitive!” Again, there you go with the getting older thing again.  I know I am getting older.  I don’t need anyone to tell me.  I look in the mirror everyday to see how my face and life in general is changing.  My goodness, I just got invited to my first Seniors Luncheon at church.  Now that was a blow your mind event.  I am not ready to be considered a Senior – (although I highly respect them even more now than ever).  I am too young!  But I guess the world in general doesn’t think that about me anymore.  I am what they call “over the hill”.   Hearing my daughter say those words confirmed to me she thinks of me as old now.  WOW!  What happened to being her best friend.  Someone who she went shopping with – did lunch dates or girls nights with?  Now I am just old.

As I grow through this life’s journey of getting older a few things I can tell you are:

  1.  I care more than I used to care about people.  I used to care about my own inner-circle of family and friends.  I pay more attention to everyone – young and old.  I pay more attention to the hardships of the world.  The people who are hurting.  I pray harder for peace, love, and understanding for everyone.
  2. I don’t judge any one anymore.  I have lived long enough to know things happen beyond our control or we make stupid decisions which cause hurtful results.  We just learn to have more compassion and understanding for people. I want everyone to be able to be themselves but not at the expense of hurting others.  Life is too short to not be you.
  3. I definitely give more respect to “older people”.  When I am driving on the road and see someone do something wrong.  I may noticed it is an older driver and I respect the right they have to drive slow or not get over in the right lane.  I don’t try to act stupid or hurtful by blowing the horn.  I respect them.  My Dad is 83 and my Stepmother is 79.  I respect them and if they ever call me and say – “I need you.”,  I jump in the car and go – no questions asked.  I would never say to my parents “Well, how long is that going to take?”
  4. I remember when my Dad was 45.  I thought “WOW”, he is getting old.” I think now how stupid I was to not see how young 45 really was at that age.  I understand that age is just a number.  It is not who you are.
  5. I am not old.  I am just beginning.  I have raised my children, worked my entire life, created a home for myself, took care of myself, etc – all with the help of no one.  I have always been independent.  I have never wanted to be a burden on anyone – especially my children.  I don’t need anyone telling me how to drive or how to do anything.  Stop treating me like I am old or an idiot!  Who do you think taught you how to do everything you know how to do?  Mostly – ME!

Things I would like to say to all  Millennials:

  1.  Stop acting like this entire world is suppose to cater to you.  Go out and make your own living and stop living with your parents or expecting hand-outs!
  2. Stop thinking your parents are old and stupid.  We are way smarter and wiser than your think.  We see and know everything (pretty much) you do – especially when you tell a lie!  We just play dumb because we love you and want to give you another chance to get it right.
  3. When your parents need you, GO!  Don’t think just GO!  – the majority of parents I know have been just like me.  We have scarified our last dime for you – our kid.  At least when we need you, please be respectful and do what we ask because we do not ask much.  We have earned the right to ask for things from you now when we need them.
  4. Life is about other people – not about you.  We make the life we want to live.  If we are selfish, the world will be selfish to us.  I am a believer in all things GOD!  In Proverbs, it is a book of how God wants us to live.  Steps for being the best person you can be.  One in particular is about greed – Proverbs 1:19 – So are the ways of everyone who is greedy . … Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” 1 Corinthians 6:10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. (taken from http://www.biblestudytools.com.  It is not about the money or being all about you.  It is about the time you give to people.  The respect you show and the compassion you give.  Don’t be greedy with your time when it comes to your parents.

I am no expert on raising children.  I just know I did the best I could with mine.  Both of my children are college graduates with great careers.  I have prayed about my relationship with them a lot lately.  I have also looked back in my own life and see how I could have done better toward my parents when I was in my early 30s.  The difference is I was married, worked full time, and raising two children.  I did not have a lot of free time, but I still went any time my parents called me out of respect to them.  Please be respectful for your parents and everything they have done for you.  Without them, you would not be here.

I know there will be people who may read this blog and think, “I never got anything from my parents.”or “I never even knew my parents.”  I can’t fix those things – even if I wanted to.  I can just say – somewhere in your life there has been an adult figure you have looked up to – grandparent, teacher, role model – etc.  Give them respect.  We are all getting older – even the Millennials.  Being selfish will not win you anything in life or in the long run.  It will alienate the friends and family you do have.  There is always a time in our life when things will put you in the valley.  The high times can be great but the lows can be traumatic.  Who will stand in the valley with you?  Probably your parents or that older role model you won’t give the time of day to now. 

We all need someone to care about us.  Someone needs to care about you.  It appears that a millennial who only cares about themselves doesn’t really care about another millennial unless there is something in it for them which means they don’t have true friends.  Yes – as we get older, we get wiser and with wisdom comes age.  The only other alternative is to be under the dirt.  I would like to stay above the dirt a little longer if possible, but I demand respect – especially from my children.  I am not old.  I have just begun.  God Bless.

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3 Comments

  1. Hi Cynthia, I really feel for you. Did you get over the flu? You do have to wonder about the millennial generation and my own kids( oldest is 10) they are growing up in an age where everything is about me. I guess you just got to keep praying for them, that they will make the right decisions moving forward and check in with their Mom more often. You are not old you are at a wonderful age! Have a beautiful day Cynthia, hugs Terri 💗

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    • I’m glad I could help Cynthia. I was looking at your older posts and they are really well done, You need to open comments for them !Thank you so much for following I hope you like my little blog. Have a nice night, Terri xo.

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